Second entry time, where to go from the first. The joy of writing to an empty space that very few people will ever stumble upon is the complete openness. I could ramble in any direction and just amuse myself in the future at what comes forth. I guess I will go back to music. It's my rock, the steadfast addiction.
It's been a long time since I started as a music journalist. I use that term loosely, since I was never compensated beyond a few dollars here and there, but by definition, that is what I was. It seems so long ago that I was a kid taking a $10 point and shoot to punk shows and trying to get anything we could put with a review. The early days of the zines and website are embarassing by my standards of today, but at the time, it was awesome.
This is where we go back to the topic before. Yesterday. Those days were so new and everything was exciting. I was nervous before shows, constantly checking everything. Before I quit a couple weeks ago, I never checked anything, felt bored most of the time I was covering shows and pretty much felt like I was burdened to do it. I had lost that fire I had so many years ago. I had seen behind the curtain and realized musicians weren't any better than me. In fact, they were kids or adults like those I've known my whole life. They're just playing music to pay their bills...and few can do that.
I think the personalizing of the music world kills a lot of that. We see their flaws, we see the problems and we're not as much seeing those we're amazed by or those we respect, we're seeing someone we've developed an unhealthy obsession with. That's why all these tabloids harass people to no end. We become the scorn ex-girlfriend or the estranged family member role to ourselves. We feel this connection when there is nothing to be had.
While I can say I've never felt that way, as a society, we have that happen. All of the people I've wanted to meet have been out of musical admiration. I could care less who these people have been/are fucking, what their kids like, etc. When I covered Aerosmith last week, Tommy Lee walked out near where I was sitting. I looked over and we made eye contact, he said "Hey!" so I replied "Hey..." then he was gone. I wasn't thinking "Wow, that's the dude who made a porno with Pamela Anderson" or anything else, I just thought it was cool to share a word with one of the top drummers in rock music. It would be like meeting anyone who leads their field, you have to be a bit happy to share even just one word with them.
Admiration is completely different from fanaticism (it's a word to me!). When I was a kid, I played football. I went to charity basketball game where the Oilers played the Galveston Fire Department in basketball. I got to meet William Fuller. While everyone was asking how much money he had, etc. I just wanted to pick up some tips on getting through the offensive line and picking up a couple sacks. Instantly, he lost his bored face and pulled me to the side and showed me some moves. He was really gracious and was excited someone was there to learn from him.
That stuck with me forever. If I'm going to meet someone who does something I respect, I shall be kind towards them and ask them things that they care about. I'm not worried about their celebrity, I want to know what they did to become the best at what they do. Of course, on the flipside of the coin, I met Haywood Jeffries that night and he was a "celebrity" as they come. He was dismissive, had two girls who appeared to be hookers on his arm and signed 5 autographs before saying his hand was tired. Jeffries just showed up for halftime...he couldn't be bothered to play the game.
That also stuck with me. You can't be dismissive to people. Sure, sometimes people ask dumb questions, you should at least listen and give some sort of response. Even if it's to say it was a dumb question. You should always take time.
Where does that tie into everything? I guess in my mind, if I ever achieve any sort of notoriety, I would never dismiss those who support me...nor those who don't. If I'm worth their time, they're worth mine. I just think that's the way life should be.
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Monday, November 27, 2006
And so it begins...
While most people walk away from being a rock journalist bitter and full of anger. I got to leave on my own terms. I walked away from writing to live the dream. Sure, there will be nightmarish moments and points where I'm burnt out. I've been playing music a long time and well, there has been more pain, sorrow and frustration than you will ever know.
Those tears that poured over the beauty of a Woody Guthrie song and the accompanying fear that I could never compose anything that profound...the feeling of amazement mixed with the sadness of my own shortcomings when I hear the intro to Out There by Dinosaur, Jr...the feeling I may not be as emotionally linked to my music as someone like Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls is. Just like anything, you feel the excitement of seeing something special, but you wish it could be you creating the amazement.
So, I sit here now. A Monday. Sitting at my desk at work. I'm staring at the monitor, thinking of all the work-related things I could be doing instead of this, but feeling a bit of urgency that leads me to write out some thoughts I have. I feel the need to keep the mission at hand right at the top of the list. We must make music.
Jamil and I promised ourselves when we started this band that as long as we were both there, it would never dissolve. Even if life threw us a curveball and we were unable to play for an extended period of time, we'd never dissolve. Even if we only played once a year, it'd still happen. We wanted to make sure we kept an honest vow to each other. Like brothers or knights in the battlefield, we took an oath to never stop, to never waver from our end and now we stand forever waging a battle against those who don't love music and those who keep wishing for the "glory of yesterday."
That is my single most persistent enemy...yesterday. So many people sit and talk about the glory of yesterday. I was just reading Amanda Palmer's blog and it bothered me to see her quotes from an older critic who went on and on about the Who and how no one could touch that these days. I call bullshit. I've seen it with my own eyes, I've felt it with my own heart and soul. I've been touched and had my life altered by music. I can name specific moments that changed my being forever:
1) Hearing Primus' Frizzle Fry album. I immediately needed a bass. I begged my mom and she bought me one for my 15th birthday. I got my learner's permit and a bass on the same day. It was great. I played nonstop from that point on. For 2.5 years, I plugged away on that bass and worked to do something good.
2) Hearing Son Volt's Trace. I remember being all into punk rock, playing guitar in some crappy little bands and being all about PUNK ROCK!!! Then, I'm laying on the couch at my house I had in college and my roommate puts this album on. At first, I wasn't overly impressed. Then "Ten Second News" came on. I literally felt this sickness in my stomach, this feeling of hopelessness and fear. All from the somber vocals and the whine of the lap steel. Right there, I knew the power music could have. It could evoke physical feelings within you besides excitement and jumpiness, it could affect you in all ways. That song taught me music had a power beyond anything I had ever dreamed.
3) Seeing Avail live. This is the greatest live band EVER. You can say what you want and make a case for anyone, but this is the best live band I've ever seen. These are 5 guys from Richmond, VA who know they're just like everyone else and do their best to mix with the audience and bring their dirt-covered punk/southern rock tunes with the utmost urgency and inclusion. There is nothing needed to be a part of the show other than yourself. No pagentry, no pretention, nothing but straight-forward rock and good times.
4) Seeing Inquisition play the APV Room. This was a band I'd never heard before, but they came out at this show, which was put on at the Allen Parkway Village to try and stop the city from tearing it down and kicking out all the people who made their home there, and completely brought it. They were full of energy, intelligence and talent. They played great songs and vocalist Thomas Barnett did a great job relaying the message behind each song before going into them. He made short speeches to make the audience aware. They weren't 5 minute rants, just short intros to the songs, which I've always enjoyed.
There are other moments, but these are the 4 that stand out right now. These were the 4 that set me on the path back when I was in high school. Nearly a decade ago.
The point is, in the world today, I still have moments where I am completely enamoured with music and have my life changed. When I lost hope for a while, I heard Against Me!'s Reinventing Axl Rose and it gave me more life. It showed more people still cared and made music they believed in. No matter where a band ends up, you can't forget those magical moments where they and you believed the world could be changed by a song. I think it still can be changed, I think so many people give up before the fight is over. The world needs someone to hold onto that conviction and fight until the end. I hope Jamil and I are that band.
Those tears that poured over the beauty of a Woody Guthrie song and the accompanying fear that I could never compose anything that profound...the feeling of amazement mixed with the sadness of my own shortcomings when I hear the intro to Out There by Dinosaur, Jr...the feeling I may not be as emotionally linked to my music as someone like Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls is. Just like anything, you feel the excitement of seeing something special, but you wish it could be you creating the amazement.
So, I sit here now. A Monday. Sitting at my desk at work. I'm staring at the monitor, thinking of all the work-related things I could be doing instead of this, but feeling a bit of urgency that leads me to write out some thoughts I have. I feel the need to keep the mission at hand right at the top of the list. We must make music.
Jamil and I promised ourselves when we started this band that as long as we were both there, it would never dissolve. Even if life threw us a curveball and we were unable to play for an extended period of time, we'd never dissolve. Even if we only played once a year, it'd still happen. We wanted to make sure we kept an honest vow to each other. Like brothers or knights in the battlefield, we took an oath to never stop, to never waver from our end and now we stand forever waging a battle against those who don't love music and those who keep wishing for the "glory of yesterday."
That is my single most persistent enemy...yesterday. So many people sit and talk about the glory of yesterday. I was just reading Amanda Palmer's blog and it bothered me to see her quotes from an older critic who went on and on about the Who and how no one could touch that these days. I call bullshit. I've seen it with my own eyes, I've felt it with my own heart and soul. I've been touched and had my life altered by music. I can name specific moments that changed my being forever:
1) Hearing Primus' Frizzle Fry album. I immediately needed a bass. I begged my mom and she bought me one for my 15th birthday. I got my learner's permit and a bass on the same day. It was great. I played nonstop from that point on. For 2.5 years, I plugged away on that bass and worked to do something good.
2) Hearing Son Volt's Trace. I remember being all into punk rock, playing guitar in some crappy little bands and being all about PUNK ROCK!!! Then, I'm laying on the couch at my house I had in college and my roommate puts this album on. At first, I wasn't overly impressed. Then "Ten Second News" came on. I literally felt this sickness in my stomach, this feeling of hopelessness and fear. All from the somber vocals and the whine of the lap steel. Right there, I knew the power music could have. It could evoke physical feelings within you besides excitement and jumpiness, it could affect you in all ways. That song taught me music had a power beyond anything I had ever dreamed.
3) Seeing Avail live. This is the greatest live band EVER. You can say what you want and make a case for anyone, but this is the best live band I've ever seen. These are 5 guys from Richmond, VA who know they're just like everyone else and do their best to mix with the audience and bring their dirt-covered punk/southern rock tunes with the utmost urgency and inclusion. There is nothing needed to be a part of the show other than yourself. No pagentry, no pretention, nothing but straight-forward rock and good times.
4) Seeing Inquisition play the APV Room. This was a band I'd never heard before, but they came out at this show, which was put on at the Allen Parkway Village to try and stop the city from tearing it down and kicking out all the people who made their home there, and completely brought it. They were full of energy, intelligence and talent. They played great songs and vocalist Thomas Barnett did a great job relaying the message behind each song before going into them. He made short speeches to make the audience aware. They weren't 5 minute rants, just short intros to the songs, which I've always enjoyed.
There are other moments, but these are the 4 that stand out right now. These were the 4 that set me on the path back when I was in high school. Nearly a decade ago.
The point is, in the world today, I still have moments where I am completely enamoured with music and have my life changed. When I lost hope for a while, I heard Against Me!'s Reinventing Axl Rose and it gave me more life. It showed more people still cared and made music they believed in. No matter where a band ends up, you can't forget those magical moments where they and you believed the world could be changed by a song. I think it still can be changed, I think so many people give up before the fight is over. The world needs someone to hold onto that conviction and fight until the end. I hope Jamil and I are that band.
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