And so it begins...

While most people walk away from being a rock journalist bitter and full of anger. I got to leave on my own terms. I walked away from writing to live the dream. Sure, there will be nightmarish moments and points where I'm burnt out. I've been playing music a long time and well, there has been more pain, sorrow and frustration than you will ever know.

Those tears that poured over the beauty of a Woody Guthrie song and the accompanying fear that I could never compose anything that profound...the feeling of amazement mixed with the sadness of my own shortcomings when I hear the intro to Out There by Dinosaur, Jr...the feeling I may not be as emotionally linked to my music as someone like Amanda Palmer of the Dresden Dolls is. Just like anything, you feel the excitement of seeing something special, but you wish it could be you creating the amazement.

So, I sit here now. A Monday. Sitting at my desk at work. I'm staring at the monitor, thinking of all the work-related things I could be doing instead of this, but feeling a bit of urgency that leads me to write out some thoughts I have. I feel the need to keep the mission at hand right at the top of the list. We must make music.

Jamil and I promised ourselves when we started this band that as long as we were both there, it would never dissolve. Even if life threw us a curveball and we were unable to play for an extended period of time, we'd never dissolve. Even if we only played once a year, it'd still happen. We wanted to make sure we kept an honest vow to each other. Like brothers or knights in the battlefield, we took an oath to never stop, to never waver from our end and now we stand forever waging a battle against those who don't love music and those who keep wishing for the "glory of yesterday."

That is my single most persistent enemy...yesterday. So many people sit and talk about the glory of yesterday. I was just reading Amanda Palmer's blog and it bothered me to see her quotes from an older critic who went on and on about the Who and how no one could touch that these days. I call bullshit. I've seen it with my own eyes, I've felt it with my own heart and soul. I've been touched and had my life altered by music. I can name specific moments that changed my being forever:

1) Hearing Primus' Frizzle Fry album. I immediately needed a bass. I begged my mom and she bought me one for my 15th birthday. I got my learner's permit and a bass on the same day. It was great. I played nonstop from that point on. For 2.5 years, I plugged away on that bass and worked to do something good.

2) Hearing Son Volt's Trace. I remember being all into punk rock, playing guitar in some crappy little bands and being all about PUNK ROCK!!! Then, I'm laying on the couch at my house I had in college and my roommate puts this album on. At first, I wasn't overly impressed. Then "Ten Second News" came on. I literally felt this sickness in my stomach, this feeling of hopelessness and fear. All from the somber vocals and the whine of the lap steel. Right there, I knew the power music could have. It could evoke physical feelings within you besides excitement and jumpiness, it could affect you in all ways. That song taught me music had a power beyond anything I had ever dreamed.

3) Seeing Avail live. This is the greatest live band EVER. You can say what you want and make a case for anyone, but this is the best live band I've ever seen. These are 5 guys from Richmond, VA who know they're just like everyone else and do their best to mix with the audience and bring their dirt-covered punk/southern rock tunes with the utmost urgency and inclusion. There is nothing needed to be a part of the show other than yourself. No pagentry, no pretention, nothing but straight-forward rock and good times.

4) Seeing Inquisition play the APV Room. This was a band I'd never heard before, but they came out at this show, which was put on at the Allen Parkway Village to try and stop the city from tearing it down and kicking out all the people who made their home there, and completely brought it. They were full of energy, intelligence and talent. They played great songs and vocalist Thomas Barnett did a great job relaying the message behind each song before going into them. He made short speeches to make the audience aware. They weren't 5 minute rants, just short intros to the songs, which I've always enjoyed.

There are other moments, but these are the 4 that stand out right now. These were the 4 that set me on the path back when I was in high school. Nearly a decade ago.

The point is, in the world today, I still have moments where I am completely enamoured with music and have my life changed. When I lost hope for a while, I heard Against Me!'s Reinventing Axl Rose and it gave me more life. It showed more people still cared and made music they believed in. No matter where a band ends up, you can't forget those magical moments where they and you believed the world could be changed by a song. I think it still can be changed, I think so many people give up before the fight is over. The world needs someone to hold onto that conviction and fight until the end. I hope Jamil and I are that band.